Someone commented that the peacock is a symbol of resurrection and wise vision, and is closely associated with the phoenix (which is already one of my most deeply beloved symbols from mythology; eternal rebirth and recreation). Well, at last I understand that my totem animal has been trying to communicate with me and I was just thinking it made for funny stories to write home about! Now I get it and I'll be more watchful for future peacock "coincidences" in my life!
Sunday. I can hardly believe I have been here a whole week and that it has ONLY been one week. This open letter/email journal is my way of reflecting and deepening the experiences... but I hope you feel free to reflect back to me and share yours as well.
It seems like a long time ago that I sat in the class feeling like I must be the moron they let into the program by accident ("What the hell do I have to bring to this program? They are going to find out I'm clueless any minute now...") The group has gelled, bonds are forming, healthy clashes of viewpoint come out, openness is growing. It is still amusing to see all the interpersonal drama, the dynamics that shift and move as people's assumptions and personalities bounce off each other. Someone is very attached to defending WHY the military does X or Y the way it does; someone feels the need to justify what it's like to work in a particular job and environment that makes it 'impossible' to achieve a certain objective.... it is fascinating.
Yesterday, Saturday, we had an all-day workshop with a Chilean woman who runs a local theatre group called Puente ("bridge"). She works in a style of theatre developed by a fellow Latin American, and now used worldwide in therapeutic work, post-conflict resolution, and political processes, called "Theatre of the Opressed." Oppressed is a word that middle and upper class North Americans are terribly uncomfortable with, as is the word 'victim'. People in many South American countries, on the other hand, have a great deal of experience with overt oppression and victimhood and find it an enormously empowering space in which to change their relationship with oppression, to find their power. So it's interesting right from the start the reactions to even just the name of the theatre!
We started with games of movement. Stand in a circle and see how people arrange themselves... why is there always a gap on either side of the 'instructor'? A power dynamic. Some people stand close, others have wide spaces between them. Then begin pair exercises like mirroring - one person moves and the other is their perfect mirror image; then switch who leads the movement; then see if you can get to there being NO leader but just in-sync mirror image movement on both sides. "Hypnotizer", where you have to keep your nose exactly the same distance from the palm of my hand, so my moving my hand makes you move to follow it... then have large groups of people doing the 'following' and only one person moving his/her palm -- notice that the larger the group, the larger the perccentage of them who cannot actually see the hand of the 'leader' but are taking their cues and following those in front of them. Hmmm!
Then sculpting. Put another person into a particular position - they are 'clay' and do not resist but take the shape given to them and hold it. Then sculpt yourself - walk around and the leader says a word "love", "family", "anger", "generosity", "forest" -- and sculpt yourself instantly into the form that represents that word for you and freeze.
Then in groups, sculpt a scene together to represent a word ("vulnerability", for example), by each self-sculpting and then fitting the self-sculptures into a whole image. An outside group views it and says what words come up for them, then are given the opportunity to 'intervene' in 10 seconds. What do they do? Change people's positions, remove or add people (sculptures)... but the sculptures in the scene must stay 'true' to their character's intentions and needs, so if it feels 'wrong' for them to be interfered with during the intervention, they resist. After the intervention, everyone in the scene (whether intervened with or not) says how they felt about it. What comes out is amazing: "we felt abandoned because she took that person out but left us", "I felt violated and forced to move away from the scene", "I did not know what was going on because the intervention was happening to other people some distance away from me and I was confused." The perceptions of those viewing the scene are coloured by their own biases -- so whether they are right in thinking that this one person or that group need XYZ kind of 'help' is a cloudy matter. The ramifications for going to do humanitarian work in areas where conflict has affected communities and individuals are obvious.
Towards the end of the day we acted out scenes with words and were invited to intervene in any way we wished by saying "stop" at whatever we thought was the critical moment where something could be changed and stepping in either to replace or add a character. At the end of the day it became clear how this type of theatre can be (and is) used to allow people who have experienced oppression to work through the situation again -- to replace themselves in the situation and figure out how they could have done it differently so as not to have experienced oppression but instead to have maintained their dignity. I could see through the day how incredible a tool this could be in humanitarian work to resolve issues for both the aggressors and victims in conflicts...
I have not done it any justice with my words, I know. But it was wonderful. It is great to involve kinesthetic learning as well as the auditory/visual that most of the classroom stuff involves.
Our three concurrent courses are the foundation class, Human Security and Mutual Vulnerability, International Law, and Post Cold-War Conflict. My group is giving a presentation on Tuesday covering the global political economic system, capitalism 'then' and transnational capitalism 'now', the relationship of developed and undeveloped (groups, peoples, states) and the issues this causes for human security (What happens when huge chain outsources work to sweatshops in undeveloped countries? Lower prices, inhuman conditions for those who make the products, loss of jobs in the developed country where the products go, and increased profits for the company. What happens when that company is discovered NOT to be checking 100% of its imported goods for dangerous items in compliance with US security regulations because it would 'lower profits'? Some human security issues, obviously, on all sides of the cycle of developed and un-developed!) My paper for that course is going to be on tourism & human security (I got to choose that topic, might as well start where I have some knowledge!)
I also have to give a 'security brief' on India to our Conflict class, where we are as a group creating a worldwide brief on all major issues that face Canada from a security perspective and where we see these heading in the next 5-15 years. (We learned about the "Intelligence Cycle" and how intelligence officers gather data, select from it, and conduct predictive analyses of the intelligence... but I feel rather underqualifed to now go ahead and apply this to the entire country of India. Oh well, I guess I will learn as I go!)
For International Law, I have to submit a draft outline of a paper on Religioius Freedom under International Law (at least I got to choose my topic there... but Oh God where do I start now that I chose THAT topic? Maybe if the prof is in a humourous mood I can submit it in the form of a prayer.)
The level of discussion, the dialogue, the analytical and critical processes we are going through as a group are exciting beyond my wildest dreams and I feel like my mind is opening out in all directions... like my inner eye is changing shape and orientation to embrace both more breadth and depth.
Last night I allowed myself to collapse into bed at 8PM and sleep for 12 hours... and this morning I finally enjoyed the privilege of visiting my lovely friend (and host) Anna's church for worship and hearing her give an inspired and brilliant sermon. This time of year is the "Pentecost", which I understand is often considered the "birthday of the church" and has to do with Holy Spirit. Both the breath and wind of spirit, which moves in surprising and unpredictable ways, and with the 'catching fire' of the soul that happens when Spirit is present (or when we allow it to be present, I might add!). Wind and fire... which of course work very well with my newly identified totem animal, the peacock/phoenix, which is reborn from its own ashes cyclically. I have not been baptized nor christened nor confirmed (I don't know which of those terms belong to all or some or specific denominaions, either). I wouldn't have known Pentecost from the Pope until today, probably. I am a beginner, a 'toddler' in faith, as my friend Kimberley so sweetly and accurately puts it. But I do know Spirit. And I know that my dear friend Ms. Constantin brings Spirit and Love into her every action and word... that her ability to bring play, humour, kindness and connectedness into her church's community is an inspiration in the truest sense (inspire coming from Latin to breathe... the root word of spirit as well... worth dwelling on a while, not intellectually but reflectively). The United Church, a uniquely Canadian approach, is inclusive -- communion uses grape juice rather than wine so as not to exclude anyone, for example.
Anna's sermon contained a challenge to grow beyond our comfort zones, to really mean it, to catch fire. She asked us in the middle of it to turn to those around us, look them in the eye, and say "you are God's beloved, blessed by the Holy Spirit". And you know what? I absolutely said and meant it. Sweet little elderly and frail Mrs. Cooke beside me reached out and held my hand and said with slightly teary eyes "you are really good at that." And she was right. Imagine what the world would be like if no matter what words we were saying (I am tired. How are you today? What is on the agenda? I have something for you. Would you be willing to stop doing that? Hello.) were said with the Breath of Holy Spirit?
Well, I hope I'm getting closer to that. Because the reason I'm here taking this program is more than to learn (though it IS to learn), and more than to grow and open my perspective (though it IS that too)... I'm here because I'm attempting to BE a prayer for peace in my every thought, word and action... and this is where God led me when I asked for the Universe to guide me on that particular path.
Sending lots of love in all directions!
No comments:
Post a Comment